I just love you so much.

In the video you try to climb up on a swing set in the lagoon. An uneven green horizon separates the blues. You are maybe twenty meters away, your swimsuit white and your shoulders sunkissed against the blue of the lagoon. The rope slips, the swing follows and you fall in the water. You turn around and at the same time the camera dips as the person behind it, me, also bends over from laughter. Your laughter takes clear leaps between the open surfaces of the water and the sky.

During these past few months our friendship has healed me. Our bubble is my home in this foreign land. We laugh and as we do so, the spaces become ours. The streets, the markets, the bars. Our shared language lets us tell each other secrets in broad daylight, straight out without shame.

“What a creepy guy.”

But we usually complain with a smile. We always find a way to twist the situation into a joke and laugh as we make sense. A lot of things in this culture are incomprehensible to us. Some things are weird and uncomfortable, and some are straight up dangerous. We ground each other and remind each other how absolutely crucial it is to set boundaries. Shower each other in validation, softness, and mama-love.

And yes, a lot of the times we talk about guys. Lovers, crushes, flirts. We are both navigating the world of objectification and exotification in this patriarchal culture that is similar yet very different to the patriarchal cultures we come from. We get to practice fending off men daily, dealing with catcalls and getting grabbed, scrutinized, judged or just relentlessely being asked for our numbers, time and attention. And it is equally hard with people we do like and want to flirt with, as the rules and mannerisms here are quite different. It is exhausting and complex, but with you I can complain with a smile on my face as I rant about the millionth guy who tried for my number for twenty minutes on the chapa, refusing to take my no for an answer.

At the same time, sharing our lessons and insights about the things we find wonderful here is equally profound. We highlight the acts and manners we find wise, clever, humbling, kind, funny and gentle in our interactions with the local culture and way of thinking, and we learn. We enjoy. As we get to know local women who take us under their wings, we expand our own knowledge about what it means to be a mother, auntie, sister, amiga. We digest this culture and we grow into it, braiding it with what we already know. We talk, laugh, play, cry, rant and grow. I am learning about sisterhood, I am learning about being loved.

Thank you, my dear friend.
Thank you, life.

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(This story told in pictures.)